I premiered "Jewel" at Brighton Fringe last week and am just about finding my land legs again.
The lead up to and reality of Brighton was a long, hard and somewhat lonesome slog, so I was over the moon and tripping balls when, on the last day of the festival I received an amazing five star review courtesy of FringeGuru's Mathilda Gregory.
It's the first time I've had no-one to share that very specific kind of anxiety / excitement with: the kind you get just before stepping on stage.
I had a couple of very supportive friends come down to Brighton with me. They made a huge effort for me and tried to encourage me to let loose and milk all the characters and the comedy as much as possible. But carrying a show by yourself for the first time is a huge challenge. It's hard to evoke that same sense of abandon with your characters / performance that you have when playing a part in an ensemble piece because you (or at least I was) are looking out into the audience and analysing every face you see ten times more than usual because they are judging YOUR show by YOU and ONLY YOU - and what if they're bored and cursing the hour of their lives they'll never get back, thanks to YOU?!
Also, I found myself - sometimes even when standing in front of the audience in character - thinking about popular feelings re one woman shows in general...what do people think when they hear 'one woman show' - do they imagine a big old vagina monologue that they can't escape from?! Is part of my purpose this evening to prove that I'm not about to do a vagina monologue?! There's nothing wrong with vagina monologues at all - and a lot that's right with them - but you see where I'm coming from re that kind of neuroses?! I wonder if other solo female performers ever feel that same anxiety...? anyway, I'm mildly hungover so I won't attempt to write an essay on women in performance just at the moment..!!
To conclude: in spite of all these first-time issues, I'm extremely happy with the eventual outcome and looking forward to taking Jewel back to the drawing board in preparation for my London and Edinburgh shows. Having done it and done well has given me the self belief to take the big, pregnant cow that is Jewel back to the farm and milk her. I'll be looking for ways to make the show and characters weirder, darker, slicker and more indulgent than ever before...so watch this space! And in the meantime, here are some photos of the performance courtesy of the skillful Jemima Yong
Also, the show was filmed by Sarah Gray - footage to follow soon :)
